What you need to know about Online Marriage Counseling
by Ed Fisher, founder of savethismarriage.org
Online marriage counseling sounds attractive to people who, for whatever reason, find it impossible to visit a marriage counselor where they live. Of course, the same problem that applies to marriage counselors also applies to online marriage counseling: counseling only helps 1 in 10 marriages. 50% of couples who choose counseling end up divorced. A 10% customer satisfaction rate sounds terrible, and it is. The message is that choosing the right marriage counselor, in person or online, is crucial.
Too many therapists trained to handle the problems of individuals think that they are capable of counseling couples. Unfortunately, marital therapy is very different from individual therapy. The techniques that work in individual therapy – getting feelings out in the open for example – can actually destroy a relationship. Marriage counseling is a very delicate business involving vulnerable people who are angry, desperate, easily hurt and often have many complex issues to deal with. The focus must be on the relationship, however, not the individual. “Putting everything on the table” is the worst thing you can do and yet it is typical of wrongheaded counselors and happened in my own marriage counseling experience.
So what can you do if you are looking for online marriage counseling? Your first step should be to do what I recommend that everyone does when considering counseling: explore the online resources that are reviewed on this site: read Mike Mandelson’s reviews of Save My Marriage Today by Amy Waterman and Relationship Recovery by Rachel Rider and my own review of Lee Baucom’s excellent Save The Marriage (links open in new window). Choose the program(s) which seems like the best fit for you. These programs are created by people with a large amount of marriage counselling experience and are very successful at helping people improve and save their marriages.
These proven programs are more effective than online marriage counselling. The truth is that you have more power than you think to save your own marriage, even if your spouse is not interested. You just need the tools that experienced professionals can give you. So I urge you to read the reviews of these top marriage products and try them out. I saved my own marriage (that a marriage counselor almost destroyed) by using these programs so I speak from experience. By the way, all of the marriage products I recommend here come with 60 day satisfaction guarantees (or your money back) so you have nothing to lose but everything to gain.
One of the problems with online marriage counselling is that you can waste a lot of expensive one-on-one time with the online marriage counselor as that person essentially teaches you some human psychology so that you understand why you and your spouse act the way you do etc. etc. and this type of valuable information is best served to you in the inexpensive programs I recommend. So get the programs, read them and watch the videos and you will probably save your marriage without ever needing a counselor. If you still want more online marriage counseling, you will be much better prepared to make the most of it and will accomplish your goals in much less time. Good Luck!
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